Footballer Adrian Peterson barred from playing

See the original posting on Boing Boing

Suspected child abuser Adrian Peterson has been barred from participating in a lucrative and violent ritual in which two rival groups of men fight over the possession of a small prolate spheroid made from tanned cowhide.

Cult leaders will continue to pay Peterson his full salary, which is $11.75 million per season. It is not known whether or nor Peterson will be allowed to retain a prolate spheroid for personal use.